We should have ran away...

Poor Little J.  We had a rough morning to begin with. That girl CANNOT get to sleep at night.  I don’t know why but she just can’t.  According to her she “closes her eyes tight but she just can’t fall asleep.” Then last night “there is a ruckus going on outside.”  I don’t even know where she gets these things. 

Sugar Bear and I were having a late morning as well.  He was in a rush, I was in a rush, and all Little J wanted to do was go back to bed.  I had to pry her little body out of bed a second time and force her into her clothes.  I hate working. She hates going to school.  We both know this.  I whine about it. She whines about it.  We plot our runaway. But inevitably every day we end up in the drop off line at school and part ways.

This morning was particularly sucky so when I received this picture from Sugar Bear a few short hours ago I felt even worse.

 

Poor kid had a dentist appointment that Sugar Bear had forgotten about. She has lost 1 tooth and had another one that was ready to go any day.  Apparently that dentist thought today was the day for not only that tooth but another one as well.

The screams I know escaped her little mouth will haunt me for the rest of the day.

We should have stuck to the escape plan and hid in the closest for the day.  No one would have found us, no one could have taken her to the dentist, she would have all her teeth, and I wouldn’t be at work.

 

-G

 

Kidnap me, please!

Does anyone else have days where they really wish someone would kidnap them?  No?  Yeah, me neither.

Honestly, I am so over this day…really this entire week.

I’m sure it’s sad and pathetic that the highlight of my day is going to consist of having a sleep over with S, Mama C., Baby Girl, and Little J. But I do not even care.  I honestly cannot even begin to explain the excitement that came over me when I decided last night that I was going to venture out to the middle of nowhere tonight to hang out watching movies, eating food that I shouldn’t (I still have 4 pounds to lose!), and watching Baby Girl breathe do hilarious things.

My favorite nail polish color and the glitter polish that goes with it came up missing about 2 weeks ago.  My first thought was, “oh hey, I bet that’s in little J’s room.”  I searched that baby with no such luck when it occurred to me that child had thieved that polish and hidden it from me. Little J is a hoarder extraordinaire, her father and I are not. I told Sugar Bear and S that I couldn’t find it and I suspected that it was in that room somewhere “special.”  Sugar Bear thought I was cray and just forgot where I put it.  S’s exact words were “of course it is. When it comes to make up or nail polish girl is a klepto.” 

When Little J came home Wednesday I remembered to ask her where she had hidden it. She told me she didn’t have it and actually legit got upset and angry that I had lost it because she “really loved that polish.” Sorry bout me for being so irresponsible that I can’t even keep up with my own nail polish.

Fast forward to last night…

Here comes Little J skipping (literally) into the living room with both nail polish bottles in hand smiling, “Oh hey Layne, I forgot that I hid these in my drawer from you.”

Yeah that’s what I thought, Klepto.

 

-G

For the Record...I did not get fired

S and I were texting a few nights ago.  I believe I said something along the lines of "Guess what happened to me today" and for some reason that girl decided that I had been fired from my job that day.  I don't know why she got this into her head but if you know anything about her then you know that once she gets something into her head you can't convince her otherwise.

Anyway, my big excitement for the day was that when Sugar Bear came to bring me important documents while I was representing my company at a job fair, a "woman" approached me to chat about my college. Only it was so clearly a man dressed as a woman.  Nothing over the top just basic man body, the beginnings of boobies, wide shoulders, shoulder length natural hair dyed blonde with roots to his (her?) ears, man walk, semi-man voice...etc. S was really wishing I had snapped a pic of this however I thought we had moved past the fact that she thought I had been fired but this is where I gave up on the conversation.

In the same evening we discovered how ridiculous it is that this conversation took place considering the fact that we no longer live together and I didn't even know that she watched Teen Mom.

Now that the wedding venue has been booked and of course I already bought my dress basically all I have to be responsible for is showing up on April 27th! Right?

-G

No wonder she kicked me out...

Clearly, I suck at keeping up with a blog. I've been busy, what do you expect?

First things first, my wedding dress is purchased and has been since day 6 of being engaged.  What can I say?  I get shit done quick.

Second, Justin Bieber, you have lost a Belieber.  Come on, an hour and a half to get yourself together and get on stage?  I don't think so. Also, keep your clothes on and stop with your sexual innuendos directed towards your fans who happen to be babies.

Third, I probably shouldn't be trusted as much as Sugar Bear trusts me to help in the development of Little J. Sugar went to play work last night so Little J and I were left to fend for ourselves until this morning. We were watching Gossip Girl (Ok. Ok. probs not the most age appropriate show for a 6 year old but I have watched as much Jessie and Good Luck Charlie as my sanity can handle at this point) and Blair was discussing her prenup.  The conversation that followed went something like this:

LJ: What's a pre-nip?
G: A PRENUP is like when a man has lots of money and the woman he is going to marry doesn't so he makes her sign a piece of paper saying if they every get divorced or break up she can't take his money.

Little J looks at me, nods her head like she totally understands and responds with:

"Oh like you and daddy. You guys should have a prenup cause he's rich."

I could not control my laughter.  I already struggle anytime she opens her mouth because that kid is full of hilariousness. But I had to call Sugar Bear immediately and share the hilarity.

I would love to tell you that I will commit to blogging daily but I can't do that.  As you know by now, I'm flakey as hell when it come to blogging.  BUT it is likely S will nag me repeatedly every day and I'll get around to it more often.

-G

I'm getting MARRIED!

No, that is not a typo.  Sugar Bear surprised the hell out of me and asked me to marry him at midnight and 30 seconds on New Year’s Eve.  He did an awesome job with picking out the ring and somehow was able to hide it from me for a month and completely take me by surprise.

While most of my friends and family were still in shock from the fact that I am able to commit to someone Baby J’s reaction went something like this:

SB:  G and I are getting married.

Baby J:  Yeah, well I just really want a baby brother or sister.

Hold on, child.  Not happening right now. One thing at a time.

Sugar Bear and I have discussed this whole wedding thing months ago and came to an agreement that we would be jetting off somewhere to get married sans friends and family (not including S though because obvs I can’t leave the state without her).  Mama and Papa C were totally fine with this, or so we thought.

Less than 24 hours of being engaged had passed and Sugar Bear and I were having an exciting night watching TV on the couch.  S barges through the front door and tells me Mama wants to chat with me in the car. Apparently Baby Girl was comfy in her carseat and Mama didn’t want to get her out.  Mama, me, Baby Girl and S huddled up in the car for her to tell me that she was thinking that maybe I should have a wedding.  She’s afraid she I will regret it if I don’t.  Sugar Bear emerged from the house and joined us in the truck and I filled him in.  He’s such an awesome guy, he just said “whatever you want.” And let us continue on.

I gave Mama C. a day to do some research and as of 5pm yesterday she had decided that planning a wedding was maybe too much stress and work. 

We are now back to square one.